Feet in Heels>Feet and Heels

So I have this thing for feet. Not like a fetish, that’s totally normal. You tell people you have a foot fetish, and they’ll probably just ask you for a foot massage. 

I hate feet. 

I don’t just dislike them, I hate them. I don’t want to see yours, I don’t want you to see mine, and if yours come near me or you come near mine, so help you, I will knee you in your goddamn nose. 

The thing about feet, is that they’re these extensions of your limbs that are a lot like really fucked up hands. They’re like hands where they shouldn’t be. And that makes toes like fingers that never grew right, which creeps me out. 

And what’s worse, is that they’re stuck in shoes all day. Shoes aren't breathable, friendly fabric like freakin' under armor or wool or cotton. Imagine wearing wearing an all leather suit. Your body would be marinating in its own sweat conglomerations by the end of one hour of walking, even at like a normal obese American pace. Like I said, I don’t wear all leather suits, and I’m guessing you all don’t either. But your feet wear leather suits ALL THE TIME. So your feet are always just sitting in puddles of their own juices. 

That’s like peeing  in your pants and then wearing them the rest of the day anyway, just hoping they dry out on their own. 

I hate feet, but I love shoes. So there’s always this inner conflict about the awesome gorgeous magnificence of those things that go on your feet (and believe me, the things on my feet are certainly magnificent), and the horrifying knowledge of what goes inside them. The only thing keeping shoes from being as awful as feet are the 3mm of cotton that keeps them from touching, and the fact that no one will ever try to massage my shoes. 

Also, these: 

Aren't they just amazing? Got them on ModCloth.

Blue thing of the day: My spectacular heels.

Track of the day: Great Day by The Lonely Island
Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRu_-9MBpd4